Bad news. I just realized the game is happening in real time. So it doesn’t matter if I spend 30 minutes every day watching my retarded hamster spin in her wheel, because stuff will keep happening even if I don’t play. Of course, I won’t be collecting “hamster stars” unless I feed and pet the little fucker. I’m not even sure what those are for, probably just a way to make you feel like you’re accomplishing something.  Meanwhile, I’m listening to the Giant Bombcast about Modern Warfare 2 and they’re saying how it’s all awesome and shit… WHY OH WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, back to the Hamsterz diary… Inside the game, I have this “cousin Mike” who I can visit. Every time I visit him, my little Grignotte comes with me and shares the same cage as Mike’s own hamster, Jeepers. Jeepers is an asshole. Every time I try to pet him he squeals and a little “sad” icon appears over his head. But then Grignotte eats all his food, and we leave without saying goodbye. I’m starting to like Grignotte. I bought her biscuits.

Here’s my plan for the future: I’ll try to find new ways to grief Jeepers through Grignotte. Then I’ll try to kill Grignotte by starvation. And then I’ll go buy Modern Warfare 2 okay?!?!

-Dan