God, it’s cold! I haven’t felt this cold since my ex told me to go sleep in the basement, when we didn’t even have one!
Anyway! Dobson here again to give you some tips on staying warm. Usually I’m up on my game, but this winter has caught Ole Dobson by surprise. It must be that global warming all those kids are talking about. Here I thought spring was right around the corner, when, bang! Old Man Winter bites me in the ass.
So open your drawers and pull out your tea bags. Let’s get toasty!
What, you thought I’d talk about clothes? Well I don’t care how cold it gets. This year Dobson is making it through just like he always has: His favorite argyle sweater and the beige raincoat. That thing cuts the wind it does, and I ain’t looking to score any fashion points anyway.
So let’s get teabaggin’!
These days I’m feeling “zen”, so I like Green Tea. Any old kind will do really. I get mine from those variety boxes they sell down at the pharmacy. You got a problem with that? My ex-wife did too. That snob queen only insisted on loose tea. But hey, she should know about loose, hey!
Back to our teabag, just boil up the water, pour it in the damn cup, and throw the bag in. Wait about a minute and drink it carefully, lest you burn your tongue.