McCain Rising Crust Pizza is Disgusting

I love how when you do a Google search for “McCain rising crust pizza is disgusting” (without the quotes), the #1 result is McCain.com. As if we’re expected to believe that the word “disgusting” resides somewhere on their website! It kind of makes me wonder if McCain isn’t involved in a little black or grey hat SEO magic. Either way, I’m pretty sure they’re paying the advertising dollars to net themselves a nice Google ranking.

Anyway, if you’ve ever tried McCain’s Rising “crust” pizza, you may have noticed two things:

a) It sucks.
b) The crust doesn’t cut or tear at all like crust is supposed to!

Over processed food is never a good thing

Now the thing about the crust of McCain Rising Crust Pizza.  I feel like this is one of those YOU HAD ONE JOB situations because the very crust rips a lot like wet cardboard might. That’s the only way I can describe it. Furthermore, crust should not “rip” like that nor should it have a weird plasticky (sp?) feel to it. It is almost as if it may not burn, char or go bad. Ever.

Now this is one of the problems with over processed food because the crust itself rises not with the help of yeast, but through some weird non-yeast chemical reaction. It also has a strange hollow feel to it and just doesn’t feel like bread. Based on the ingredients, I don’t think we can really call the dough ‘bread’, at least not by any self respecting chef. Anyway, I love a good pizza and sometimes I really don’t feel like cooking so I gave it a shot. I also ate the whole thing (as unsatisfying as that was) and I just felt sick afterwards. And no, it’s not because I ate the whole thing that I felt sick, because I am an athlete when it comes to eating entire pizzas.

McCain Crescendo Rising Crust Pizza Deluxe

You see, being able to eat a whole pizza is the barometer of goodness. A proper, well made, medium sized pizza can be devoured by any self-respecting man in one sitting. Afterwards, he should drift off into a dreamless pizza coma, his thoughts becoming nothingness, like the pizza that once occupied the now empty box strewn across his coffee table.

With McCain’s Rising Crust “pizza”, halfway through eating it (I think this was the Crescendo) I found my brow beginning to furrow uncomfortably and uncontrollably, with a low-grade feeling of dread slowly washing over me. By the time I finished it, I was curled into a fetal position, too weak to change the channel and forced to watch the remnants of American Idol with my eyes closed.

Better stick to homemade pizza from now on.

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8 thoughts on “McCain Rising Crust Pizza is Disgusting

  1. It absolutely sucks. The dough is bad. The sauce is bad. What you have to try is the President’s Choice Chicago Deep-Dish Pizza. I prefer the Spinach, but the sausage isn’t bad, and the three cheese is super cheesy.

  2. As long as the crust tastes like real crust, I’m in. McCain’s rising crust pizza really is a half baked idea.

    Get it? Half baked??

  3. Mcain products all suck !!! I had the cheese pizza omg it was the worst. I cant believe they sell this stuff. They are ripping ppl off.

  4. I don’t know why some people go the frozen route for pizza. Nothing compares to homemade. Heck, even if you buy the ingredients pre-setup, like a DIY pizza project, that still beats out the frozen stuff.

  5. @Robert Geczi

    The point of this article is that the McCain one is really bad. Not all frozen pizza is awful. Also, frozen pizzas are extremely fast to prepare, so that’s their advantage over from-scratch. I enjoy a good pizza like anyone else, but I enjoy having my food when I’m hungry and not having to spend an hour working on it. For me, that time working is better spent working on something else food-unrelated.

  6. I guess everyone’s mileage varies. It is also possible that people aren’t following the cooking instructions properly and are getting a half baked pizza. In any case, McCain’s rising crust pizzas are my favourite brand of frozen pizza. I have none of the issues the OP or the other commenters have with it. I especially appreciate the fact that their toppings go right to the edge of the pizza, which it’s local competitors where I live, do not.

  7. Well Peter, thank you for your comment. I kinda agree with you, as long as we’re talking about frozen pizza. Of course nothing beats fresh homemade pizza dough or your nearest decent pizza place that offers delivery. But yeah, McCain do offer a decent frozen pizza.

  8. does? do? is McCain a bunch of people or just a single brand name thing?

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