Phew…well, we made it!

Not like I ever had any doubt about it. But you know, some day when we’re attacked by mutant glaciers, “we made it” might actually hold some weight.

So, with spring’s ugly shadow bearing down on us, I thought I’d table up some Springtime Resolutions. I’ve always felt that New Years Resolutions were for suckers. Who doesn’t resolve to change their ways when you’re heaving into a toilet on New Years Day and it’s -60 outside? That’s just so predictable and sounds like herd mentality to me. Screw that. The sun is shining, the snow is melting and I’m going to:

Cut out spinach

That might be easy for you. Personally, I love spinach, so going cold turkey is going to be a major challenge. I’ve tried to quit before, but then someone comes along with a flaky spanakopita and I give in. This time around, if someone offers me a bite of their “Mother’s Secret Recipe”, I’m going to punch them in the face, no questions asked.

Quit my Job

Every thing’s going great and I was just promoted. I got a raise and I now have 12 underlings. Well, if you’re like me, you like to shake things up once in awhile. What fun is life without challenges? Spring is a great time to find new opportunities, and with the economy the way it is, I figure there are lots of newly opened positions.

Get Fat

I’m not one to follow trends, but hey, I could use a few pounds. By July I want to put on at least 15 pounds of pure cream cheese abs.

I think that’s about it. I could add more to the list, but that might be ambitious, so let’s stick to what’s within reach.