Tonight for the Double Extreme Household Pro Plus Match thing, we’re having, in the left corner, a pube (don’t ask me how I obtained it) and in the right corner, an almost empty glass of brandy. I already know who will emerge victorious, but let’s still look at the stats just for the fuck of it.
The Matchup:
| Opponent | The Pube | The Glass of Brandy |
| Weight | 0.02mg | 123.4g |
| Style | Crotch Fu | Binge Won Do |
Attributes:
| The Pube | The Glass of Brandy |
| +2 charisma | Liquid |
| Super stealthy | Glass armor |
| Auburn and curly | Happy |
| Weird smell | 40% alcohol |
Weaknesses:
| The Pube | The Glass of Brandy |
| Very flimsy | Shatters |
The Battle:
The pube dodges a couple of heavy attacks by the glass of brandy but is ultimately beaten by the river of alcoholic beverage pouring through the glasse’s head. The fight is very short and ends sadly with a piss drunk pube trying to sing a Pogues song on the edge of the table, and then falling off. The glass of brandy wins hands down, but is left feeling empty.
The Conclusion:
Glass of Brandy totally dominated this one. A pube should never ever get into a fight.
Match time:
8 seconds
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