From the dude who gave you “Titanic”. Here comes a tale of Ewoks and wheelchairs. And magical braids and blue assholes who attack helicopters with bows and arrows, EVEN THOUGH THEY SPEAK PASSABLE ENGLISH.

That’s right folks. After months and months of resistance, I finally gave in and watched Avatar. And guess what, I was right, didn’t even have to watch it! It tries very hard, and it fucking fails. This is not a review. I just wanted to say, fuck Avatar. Mel Gibson wins in the end, I mean, Aragorn, after his freedom speech. And the bad Europeans are driven away by the powers of mother nature, just like in Dances with Wolves, or was it last of the Mohicans? No no, the Postman.

Try to give us acceptable CG next time, like in Transformers. And fuck the “toilet paper tree”.

– Dan