An Open Letter To Jack White

Yo Jack White!

So I totally read about The White Stripes disbanding after years of awesome albums, and I gotta say this: I’m cool with it. You’ve destroyed my hearing in the best way and I’ve even picked up a lot of excellent slide guitar licks from listening to your blues guitar stylings.

Yes, I think it shows a lot of integrity to quit while the band is on a high note. If you and Meg think that now is the right time to stop, who am I to question it? You know what’s right, and I totally trust you guys on that one.

Anyway, I was wondering. Since you’ve got some free time now, I have these awesome old chairs and I read that you used to work in upholstery. They’re from the ’60’s and man, they do not make chairs like these anymore! They’ve been recovered once, back in the ’70’s, and you know, they’re starting to look a little saggy and flaccid. It would be REALLY cool to get them reupholstered once again. You know, like a chair revival of sorts.

So yeah, let me know when you’re free. I don’t know shit about upholstering, so you’d basically be doing all the work. I got beer too if you want, or espresso. And now that I think about it, it’ll probably take you all day to do the job, so I can make some sandwiches too. Just let me know if you have any weird allergies. The last thing either of us wants is a half upholstered chair.

Oh hey, maybe if you finish the job quickly, you can show me some licks? I have a bunch of guitars lying around, so a jam session with you would be a cool bonus.

That’s it for now. Let me know what day is good for you. Here’s a pic of the chairs. Later.


need to reupholster these chairs

4 thoughts on “An Open Letter To Jack White

  1. Remember to ask Jack’s permission before you go squuzing any lemon all over his sandwich…..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *